Hope

In September of last year I found myself devastated after a painful break up. I wrote about it in my very first post, but the break up was not the end of the story. Rather, it was merely the beginning. I was so disappointed with the course of events that had taken place thus far in my life that it was hard to imagine things actually getting better. But here's the funny thing about God: He likes to give back. In fact, He likes to give better. And as you learn to walk closely with Him and hear Him well He'll give you promises and things to hope for. That's just who He is. And what He really loves is to get you to hope for better. So, as I healed and grieved with Him, one of the promises He gave me was that I would meet someone else, someone who would blow me away. I had no idea who it would be, where and when, but God was very clear that it would happen and that I would be absolutely head over heels in love with her. Even more was that she would be better for me, a perfect fit for who I am.

As grateful and encouraged as I was by that promise, at times I found it really hard to hope. The thing is, when life has been really difficult, when you've had trauma or when you've had consistent disappointment, hoping for better can be a hard thing to do. In fact, it can be really hard, because the experience(s) you had before seems to contradict the reality God is telling you to hope for. And I believe that's how God wants it to be sometimes, because then the act of hoping really is an act of faith. It's not necessarily based on previous experience, but rather, God's words and what we know of His character. Now, after a while it does get easier to have hope in God's promises because you will have developed more of a history with Him and can look back at all the ways He's helped you and come through for you. But initially it can be really tough.

It makes God really happy though when you say yes to that hope, even if it's difficult. In fact, as I've processed with him, one of the things He's shared with me is that to hope for better, after going through great trial, is one of the most precious things. To say, "Okay God. I'm going to hope for better with You, even though its been so hard," is, at its core, a deep affirmation of His goodness and act of worship. And so I said yes to Him and clung to that hope of meeting this amazing woman He said He had for me. And of course, God being God, He did not disappoint. Mere months later, after a series of very interesting circumstances and His guiding hand, I found myself walking through the doors of a restaurant and laying eyes on the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen, and after sitting down and having lunch with her I knew this was the woman I needed to pursue. I had no idea of the beauty that was to follow as I began my relationship with her, and all the ways I would be surprised at just how perfect she was for me.